Slogging through the days

Wonder why I bother correcting typos. Trying to go off one of four meds—trileptal—to induce some mania. Doc can't really help any more. If current mix is working, stay with it, etc. Too fucking depressed, angry. Anxiety leading up to party for my daughter's marriage—meet the in-laws thing. No sympathy from Liz. She's my only outside contact for this. I am practicing suicide notes.